INTO THE NURSING HOME

Welll, today we moved Aunt Gwen into the nursing home in WB Pa. What a sad day to see someone come to the end of their life...and yet, she has done very well. She lived a pretty comfortable life all told and although Joe and Mary Jo are gone, she has family and friends around her to watch out for her and care for her.

Ruth and I cleaned out the apartment today, for the most part and set a lot of old papers, clothing, etc to the trash. Some things were saved for Goodwill; I got a couple bags of clothes together for Gwen and the furniture will probably go to a homeless shelter. That is a good thing.

I stop to see Gwen everyday after work while she has supper. She perks up when I am there and reads the newspaper headlines for me. Then I come home to supper and bed myself. Then up to work and go through the whole thing again.

I hope someday we find out what really happened to Mary Jo, but it doesn't look likely.

Secrets All Around US

I was laying in bed this morning thinking of some things that have happened to me in my life that I never told anyone; and some of the things that others have told me that I know they never told anyone else.

I thought long about some of the things that have happened to me that I have held dear to my heart and decided I probably would never share them with anyone. But I wonder, does that make me arrogant? SHOULD I share them...would others understand me better? And is THAT understanding something I am afraid of?

I know I will never devulge the secrets entrusted to me, but they weigh heavy on my heart sometimes.

Secrets are DEEP.

HMMMM.

historical society and missing Mass

Well, today is Monday, October 8, 2007. Eight months until I retire. I can hardly wait and I am scared. Hate the idea that this is the "last phase" of my life...I better make it a good one!
I MAY decide to work partime, but if I do, it will be only to raise money so I can travel a bit. Maybe I will work for a temp service. If my medical is covered and I can come and go pretty much as I like with that...Hmmm.

Last night I took the Xanax the Dr gave me to sleep, and I slept the night away from 10 till 5 this morning. That is good for me. Then I got all guilty feeling about taking something to sleep...like, why do I not just sleep? I could drive myself crazy asking questions about that but it is boring.

Worked at the historical society on Saturday and had two visitors. A gentleman called Apache Jack and Mariann from NJ who was searching for her family. Jack has forgotten more about my hometown than most people remember so he is always a good resource. Mariann found some of her relatives buried at the Shawnee, so we went up there to visit the graves. She left a message tied to the headstone for anyone else visiting the site to contact her. There were some plastic flowers on the grave, old but by just a year or two. Maybe she has relatives she doesn't know in the area.

So, I missed the four o'clock Mass...then went home and forgot to go at 6:00 om. And in the morning talked myself out of the 8:30 and 11:00 because my knees hurt. I am pathetic. Truth is, I don't feel the connection to the church since they combined the three parishes and I am worried about that. What if I never feel the connection again!?
Never mind, I will find someone to go with next Sunday. That may be the problem, I need a buddy to go with. Then maybe go for coffee afterward. That would be cool. Now I really am pathetic.

Well, it is now Monday and I promised myself I would go to Lowe's and buy paint and finish the trim on the back deck. Work tomorrow ,so I better get to it.

No Hot Water till Tuesday

Well, it is 6:36 am and I slept in today. I am usually up by four or five. Hmmm. The darn hotwater heater gave out yesterday so I had to shower at Joanne's last night. They cannot fix it until Monday or Tuesday so I will be heating water on the stove until then. Funny, because I remember when we lived down in Kingston when I was little, we used to have to do that because we did not have hot water in the flat where we lived.

Nor did we have any bathtub. I guess we were lucky we had an indoor toilet. And the traditionaly Saturday night bath in the tin tub was a reality until I was 12 years old. That year we moved to Larksville from Kingston. Mom would heat great pans of water on the coal stove and dump them into the tub which was placed on the floor in front of the stove.. Then she would line up the kitchen chairs all aound with their backs to the tub and drape them with towels and sheets, etc., for a little privacy. Actually, it wasn't too bad, really. Because the kitchen would be dim, and you could feel the glow of the fire in the coal stove; it was kind of cozy really. I was the second of four so the two younger ones, Rosemary and Rick would have already bathed and by that time Mom would have added more hat water, so with the little ones in bed, it was quiet in the house. One could "relax in one's bath." HA!

Well, it is not very cozy now. It is a darn nuisance, and I am certainly too large for a tin tub. Thank goodness Joanne is right next door. Thank goodness for that anyway. She is a very good neighbor and very kind to me. I admire the way she has grappled with life and made it come to her terms! Good!

Anyway...Monday (or Tuesday) I will have hat water...and a bill to pay.

The Last Phase of Life...Is it?

In about eight months I will become a retiree...I am not yet sure how I feel about that. I am hoping others will join me in this journey toward becoming a person who does not have to work, and yet finds life fullfilling. Ha! Right!

Creating the BLOG

Well, this has been an experience. Creating a blog is certainly a lot more user friendly than it used to be. I was thinking the other day about the new words that have come into my vocabulary during my lifetime and some we no longer use:
New: Fax, computer, aerospace, microchip, playstation, video, microwave, the pill, petri dish fertilization, cloning...
Old: coal stove, stoker, coal breaker, mine calls, saturday night baths, no, that's more than one word...